Script Doctor

That's Me

I am sitting at my desk, nerding out.

I was recently informed of a new rule of punctuation. Because of “kerning” (the automatic spacing of letters using their shape/size,)  I learned that the need for two spaces following a period is obsolete.  I found some good, fast articles about it:


Kerning sounds very sexy:


Wiki-P had a good explanation, but whenever I read Wikipedia anymore, I always think of the 30 Rock episode where Jenna plays “Jackie Jormp-Jomp” (in the unlicensed biopic of Janis Joplin.) Frank writes funny lies on the Janis Wiki page, Jenna reads and belives all of it, and in an attempt at method acting, she walks around for a chunk of the episode drinking: “buttermilk, tequila, cherry juice. ” Lots of it. 

I imagine the wasted people, angry people, & mischievous people: all filling in Wikipedia definitions with…  whatever. I like Wiki. It is a good reference for other legitimate sources.  But who knows who writes it, really?

Always consider the source.

So, now there is one space after a period in a sentence. When in the fried-chicken did that happen? It is still acceptable to have two spaces, but really, when did this happen? Was there a vote?  How and when is this figured out? Is it just the same group of bored guys that decide to arbitrarily change things, like: grammar; one-way city streets; the money, the price of stamps, etc.  just to mix things up?  Is it a secret society of men somewhere?

I don’t know. The half space actually makes more space on the page. That is interesting. 

Weather you use one space or two, hope yr enjoying the weather, rain, heat or cool.


-mc m80

The sign says:

“Honk if you love Jesus, text while driving if you want to meet him.” 

Pretty self explanatory, right?  I thought it was funny, and I posted the picture on the web.  A friend of mine (who is a mom) responded:

“…I don’t see that talking on the phone hands free is that big a deal (any more than chatting with a friend in the passenger seat), but texting is super dangerous because you hafta let go of the wheel (and take your eyes off the road) to do it! That being said, I’m guilty of doing it sometimes…it’s a super bad habit.”

I have been in a car when traffic was bad, or entering/exiting a busy ramp, and the passenger stopped conversation to let the driver drive. Because even a driver talking to a passenger, hands free, is a potentially lethal distraction.  A passenger can and will notice if things get scary on the road and shut up.  Someone on the other end on a phone has no perception.  So it is the drivers responsibility to hang up and drive.

I was genuinely surprised.  I thought all moms had an overdeveloped sense of responsibility/fear/guilt and an intense fear of auto collisions, as my mom does.  I wrote back to my friend:

My thinking was similar,  until I read some things about why it is illegal to talk and drive -even hands free- in California.

Did you ever notice that it is hard to talk on the phone- hands free or not- and write a paper, read anything, or play video games?

Driving may seem “second nature” to us “over 30″ crowd, but the brain’s locus of attention is the same for drivers of all ages.

The mind can only concentrate on one thing at a time. Studies show that “multi-tasking” is not doing many things at once; to your brain it is doing many little things, one after the other.

Doing meaningless tasks on the phone- hands free or not, is easy to do, and the repercussions of making a mistake when you are say, folding laundry on the phone are not a big deal.

Turning your brain off while propelling a few tons of metal through space at 30-70+mph, has more serious repercussions. A friend of mine almost died recently because he was hit by a person on the phone. He has permanent brain damage because of a distracted driver that was talking on the phone.  I don’t know if it was hands free or not.

Think about your average teenager on the phone and how attentive they are to the world around them. Think about these teenagers driving. On the phone. Add 20-30 years, and those are the people who almost sideswiped/ran me off the road today.

And that is why people, hands free or not, need to hang up and drive.

-mc m80

I am thinking about starting an advocacy group teaching environmental respect and responsibility in schools.  A lot of  people do teach it to their kids, but traveling the US reveals that not many states bike and recycle the way Minnesotans do.  If eco-consciousness is not leaned in the culture around them, where are kids supposed to learn this?  At home?  In mu opinion, most parents would rather give their kid(s) a pill for this, but few parents seem to spent non-tv/video game time with their kids now-a-days.    

Some believe that “unsustainable” translates into “technology will fix/invent something to fix it” or that nature is going to “fix itself.”   Nature is equipt to address natural problems.  Things like th BP oil spill extend far beyond what nature could naturally combat.  It is our responsibility to fix what we break.   

Meanwhile, the consequences will also be capitalized on.  Fresh food/water/air is priced higher and higher.  Keeping the rich richer and the poor poorer.

-mc m80

“Excuse me?  ’The customer is always right?’  That’s some entitlement bullshit.  When they say that, it’s always a sure sign that ‘this person is going to be an asshole.’ Every warehouse in America that houses the merchandise from some business that had to file bankruptcy has a box with one of those signs pokin’ out of it.  It’s my experience that the customer who squawks the loudest is the biggest liar.  And asshole.  The good customers never pull that shit. ”

-Paraphrased gospel from one cool and interesting guy to work for.

You can’t please most of the people any of the time.  Stick to what you know.

-mc m80

I predict a huge boom in the demand for chiropractors.  Within the decade. 

It will be linked to the trendy high heels that are the rage in club gear right now.  I am not talking about your average mid 2-3.5 inch heels.  I am talking about five, six or seven inch heels.  

There are years of podiatry studies.  Google: “medical link high-heels” if you don’t believe me.  Those stripper-heels are bad for your leg tendons, knees, ankles, varicose veins, circulation, back and neck.  They’ve been linked to arthritis and countless ankle sprains.  Lame!  They can cause deformities(!) like corns, bunions and hammertoe.  “Hammertoe?!”  Yikes and wtf?!  I had to Wiki that shit immediately.  There are mallet toes too.  Yuck! 

I mean, c’mon.  After the civil rights marches, bra burning, & foot wrapping, why would any comfort-loving, hard-working, modern woman want to strap expensive, stilt-y, torture devices on her feet and go walking on pavement (or worse, walking on not-pavement?)  Followed by dancing/standing around in bars, and drinking, possibly late into the evening.   

I guess people dress up in ways that are uncomfortable then go out and drink it off.  Drink till you have to be carried.  Dang.  I can do that.  I don’t have put myself in footwear-hell to have a good time doing it.  Yet weekends and evenings downtown are full of  drunk ladies wearing shoes they can hardly walk in to begin with.  It is a sadistic joke.  Fashion has so many ways and trends to make one suffer.  Wearing flip flops/tank tops when it is thirty-five below zero is another great one to see in February.  Why?

My homegirl, B, said that in times of economic depression, the only two growth industries were booze and makeup.  Liquor seems pretty self explanatory to me.  I asked about the makeup.  B said it was because females would cake on the face paint to land a man with some dough.  I get it.  I am not really down with that, but I get it. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am all about choice.  For everyone.  Educated choices.  I vote that women use their common sense and make a choice, for their health.

Ditch the ho-heels and try some low heels.  My preference?  Skate shoes. 

-mc m80

“Any resemblance to any one, thing, place or time, is totally a crazy coincidence.  We are not responsible for your bad behavior.  Side effects may include but are not limited to: sensitivity to bullshit, random mental wanderings, and feelings of light head-trauma.  I am not a licenced medical doctor.”

So this is the new writing spot.  I hope we can have a bit o’ fun. 

-mc m80